The World Cup 2014 is here and after America’s win on Monday night my social media news feed blew up so I figured it warranted some notice…gotta give the people what they want. I also found out on Monday night that The World Cup doesn’t end until July 13th, which means it lasts three times longer than Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra’s marriage. Watching a game during The World Cup is like going to the Times Square Abercrombie & Fitch store: there’s a bunch of tan, beautiful men wearing matching outfits all in one place while people gaze at them from afar.
I know soccer is a tough sport for all the players, I mean I can barely run down the block to catch the Ice Cream Truck let alone run up and down a field a few hundred times but the person I really feel bad for is the goalie. Come on, have you seen the size of a soccer net? It really doesn’t make sense, in hockey the goalie gets 3 or 4 extra inches in padding to protect a net that they already have to squat just to fit in but the soccer goalie only gets two gloves for a net that’s bigger than an apartment in New York City? Talk about being destined to fail.
My favorite part about The World Cup is that you can sum up the action in two sentences or less. There’s a bunch of guys running up and down the field until one person decides they’ve had enough and trips another player who coincidentally recently got his B.A in Theater and takes the ever-so-dramatic tumble. The player then spends some time on the ground rolling around clutching his leg just to get back up and the running up and down the field continues.
Here’s to 24 more days of World Cup themed parties, tweets and excuses to drink during the week.
